Advaita Saptami 2008

I had a good experience today. After so many months of being unable to visit the temple, I finally went today for the occasion of Advaita Saptami. This occasion is always exciting, because it means that Nityananda's and then Mahaprabhu's advent days are coming up. :-)

Thankfully, and unlike as usual, I turned up in time for the Rajbhog arati so I was able to have a good darshan of the deities. Today the deities were dressed up beautifully, apparently in Rajasthani style. I found myself wishing that I had brought my camera, but never fear, take a look at this beautiful picture from the temple's Flickr site:

What I liked most about it was the fact that Krishna's hair could be seen. Usually Krishna's hair is covered because of the ornate headdresses or flower garlands, but today it could be seen and I always love it when His hair is showing.

While I was enjoying the darshan, it seemed that nobody was there to pass the arati flame etc. through the crowd - almost unbelievable. I sprang into action and took care of it myself; first taking the 'first' arati and then the second, then the "water spray" thing (what is that called?) and then the prasadi-flowers through the crowd.

Such great mercy! I never imagined that I could be allowed to this, after so many months of not coming to the temple. What can I say? I was so grateful for the experience.

Missing The Point

śabda-brahmaṇi niṣṇāto
na niṣṇāyāt pare yadi
śramas tasya śrama-phalo
hy adhenum iva rakṣataḥ

"For one who is expert in the scriptures
but does not fix his mind upon the Lord,
the fruit of his endeavour is like one who
cares for a cow that gives no milk."

(Srimad Bhagavata 11.11.18)

You'll have to forgive the raw translation but the basic elements are in place and the message should be clear enough. This is one of the verses that exemplify my own journey along the spiritual path. For years I used to admire those who were well-versed in scriptural literatures and the ease with which they presented their deep learnings of the shastras in spiritual discussions. As a matter of fact I still do admire such devotees because scriptural learning (especially those who have memorised entire scriptures) is no mean feat and not to be sneezed at. The wonder of it is how I desired to be one such "expert". Of course, I used to be one of those guys who always seemed to come up with an appropriate quote for any discussion that was going on, and as is naturally expected of such endeavours, a large amount of time was spent hunting for such quotes.

I now feel a mixture of disgust, revulsion and pity for myself when I was in that state of mind, though I can also laugh at myself as well. The reason for that is because, notwithstanding the fact that everyone is spiritually evolving according to their own pace and so will consequently arrive at their own realisations, attempting to use shastra as "weapons" in discussions/arguments is wrong, wrong, wrong! As per the above verse from the Holy Bhagavat, I believe that it is thoroughly inappropriate to be an "expert" in the scriptures only for the purposes of one-upmanship. This is a misdirection of the learning faculty and not at all in tune with Mahaprabhu's ideal of trinad api sunicena. It becomes an extension of one's ego when one acquires a queer satisfaction from presenting a "killer" quote that "wins" the discussion. "Ha ha ha! You can't find a quote to refute my quote, can you?? I've won, so take that!" This is a morbid and grotesque mentality.

Actually I am oversimplifying things. The ego and the desire to achieve fame and praise are actually very subtle and almost imperceptible things. It is very hard to detect them unless one is very good at introspection, humble, and always attempting to measure themselves against the 'trinad api sunicena' standard. In other words, one who excessively quotes shastra (unless their contribution is truly to aid a spiritual discussion) may or may not even realise that they are presenting themselves as an "expert" and would directly or indirectly receive praise for it thereof. The next challenge then relates to how to deal with such praise, but that is another story.

Anyway I think I'm raving on a bit so let me get to the point: People who are aware of my online activities may or may not know that, these days, I do not tend to talk so much on spiritual discussion forums unlike the way I used to do before. There are multiple reasons for this, but the main one is that I realised how much I was straying far from the path in my foolish attempts to imitate devotees and their learning in much the same way as is exemplifed in the above Bhagavatam quote. Of course, learning the shastras comes naturally from reading and meditation but it is an organic process that ought to evolve by itself. That is why, these days, I prefer to post inspirational verses from my readings with perhaps a few contextual comments. This is what I continue to do on a couple of the forums I hang out at. Occasionally I stray into some discussions but I would much prefer my contact with such discussions to be minimal. The nature of the Internet is such that people can get paranoid and lose their tempers over the slightest and innocent comments, so I would much prefer to restrit my participations in such events unless I am confident that I know the other respondents well enough and that they can exhibit a satisfactory level of Vaishnava ethics and behaviour.

Or, I might be vain enough to think that I actually know something and thus I have something to contribute to discussions. Here we go again, round and round in circles. At the end of the day it's not about what you know, it's about the extent to which you have practised your preachings in your daily life. So as per Bhagavata 11.11.18, what is the use of being an expert in the shastras when you haven't learnt how to fix your mind on the Lord? This is how I try to spend my time these days; I like to read shastras such as Caitanya-bhagavata, Caitanya-caritamrita, Srimad-Bhagavatam, and all the rest of it, and if I feel that I've stumbled across something nice that I think other devotees would appreciaste, I post it on a forum so that others can experience the joy that I get out of it.

The general idea is that one must not lose one's focus on the goal. The goal must always be kept respectfully upon our heads so that we are always reminded. Krishna-katha is the life of the Vaishnavas, it is the common bond that unites all Vaishnavas irrespective of lineage and sectarian mindsets. Krishna-katha can bring peace to the world as long as there are people to speak it and people to hear it. Krishna-katha can save us from the jaws of death. Brindavan is everyone's and Govinda belongs to all; Navadvipa is everyone's and Mahaprabhu belongs to all.

When You Point A Finger..

Yes, we've all heard this little story before: When you point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing right back at you. Ergo, be mindful of what/who you're pointing at and refrain from criticism lest you be hypocritical and end up being judged by your own standards.

But today it hit me in a flash: What are those three fingers actually saying to you?

1st Finger: Trinad Api Sunicena.
2nd Finger: Taror Iva Sahisnuna.
3rd Finger: Amanina Mana Dena.

Mahaprabhu's neat little trick, eh? But what about Kirtaniyah Sada Harih? That, you must do with your mouth.

And why not? You point a finger at someone and criticise them with your mouth, why not point a finger and say something nice about them? Or better still, use your mouth to glorify Hari instead of wasting your time criticising a Vaishnava. And didn't you know that criticising Vaishnavas makes Mahaprabhu angry?

So there you go: Mahaprabhu's secret formula to bring out the best in you when you're attempting to do your worst.

Krishna knows everything

So after reading Guha's Nectar of the Holy Name briefly, I've become pretty convinced about the merits of sankirtan, and this has been added to by some passages I've read where Sri Haridas Thakur glorifies loud chanting. In my heart I felt pretty bad because I rarely get the chance to indulge in much sankirtan these days. How times have changed! I used to serve in the temple room's crowd control system but now some younger guy has taken over (haha) and I have started helping out to serve the prasad. I like the prasad jobs but obviously they usually entail that I miss the arati/sankirtan. Sri Ananta das Babaji defines sankirtan as "many people coming together to sing and chant the holy names", or something like that as I was flicking through his Siksastakam book earlier today.

So I've felt briefly bad about the circumstances where I don't get much chances to sing anymore. I never actively thought about it nor did I vocalise them, but I guess it just briefly passed over my heart. I also haven't attended the temple for the last 4 weeks or so due to studies, work, extremely bad weather and relatives coming over to stay, so I've been feeling really frustrated about not even being able to go there, never mind do seva!

So today I went and had darshan of the Deities as is my usual practice, gazing upon Their lovely forms and Their beautiful faces, admiring Their being dressed in red and wishing that I had brought my camera along. And then as I turned to leave I glanced over the room to see who was singing and then, whaddya know, my mate Anup is trying to catch my attention and calling me over to play karatals! Of course I agreed (why not?) and so I sat down and played along to the kirtan.

And then I could have laughed my head off when I considered this strange turn of events; there I was engaging in sankirtan and playing karatals to boot! It made me realise that Krishna really is the Inner Overlord (even though He spends most of His time hiding from view) who can hear everything, our innermost desires, our longings, our grief, our troubles, our pleasures, our pains. Sometimes I feel strange and alone in that He does not hear my/our prayers leave alone answering them, but yet funny events like these really help to be solid. And what a nice welcome gift from Krishna after such a long absence from the temple!

Very strange of Anup to call me, we never exchange more than courteous greetings and he really doesn't know me from Adam, and yet he calls me over to play karatals? And what more, I thought I would have to leave the kirtan to do my usual duties of serving prasad, but my mate who's in charge of it passed by the temple room and indicated that I was not needed, so I got to stay playing along to the kirtan and even attended the full arati! In so long! And then I also got to handle the holy water-spray thing, gee what is that called? I really should learn.

But yes, how very nice of Krishna to arrange things in this way. Thanks Krishna!