RKGD deeper thoughts

I wrote yesterday's blog rather hurriedly, in a flush of excitement and enthusiasm. What I was trying to convey was my inability to meditate on Srimati properly. I have hardly devoted any time to reading of the lila-sastras, even those that are available everywhere on the Net.

I do not know why this is so. I guess I am much more focused on Gaura-lila or I am just addicted to GD. But I think it is rather shameful that I have virtually no knowledge of what is written in the texts about Sri Sri Yugal-Kishor. Well I know a few things, but not enough to have a satisfactory meditation. And then of course I intellectually know these things but when I think of Krishna's amulet then I forget what characteristics it has, and so on. So this is not good and so I will have to brush up on my knowledge in that area, so that whenever there is any occasion I can read the narrative about it and merge it with the intimate knowledge available in Sri Rupa Gosvami's literatures and have a nice meditation. For example, if I read the story of how Sri Srinivasa Acarya got "involved" in the lila of Srimati's losing of Her besara, I need to know what this besara looks like, so I can probably find that information somewhere.

And this is not something that I may instantly remember either; I'll need to read it over and over in order to have that knowledge imprinted on my consciousness and memory. I had an extremely sharp memory when I was younger, I don't know what happened to it, maybe I "forgot" to pick it up when I left the house. :/
Nah, I still have a sharp memory when it counts; what a shame it doesn't work when I need it to. :/